Saturday, May 30, 2009


Glamour Magazine conducted an “Extra-Steamy Man Survey” in which men were asked the following question:

If your girlfriend could be good at only one of the following, at which would you want her to excel, oral sex, cooking, or sports?

Depending on your values, the results might or might not surprise you:

48% said Oral sex, 45% said Cooking, and 7% said Sports.

I’m inclined to wonder about the 7% who value sports over oral sex. Furthermore, as an avid eater, I think I could understand someone who chose cooking. But then again, who am I to judge?

Fortunately for me, my darling husband prefers the oral pleasures and rituals I’ve created to entertain him and his beloved penis. Though I can cook, I enjoy the act only on the rarest of occasions. I don’t understand football, I find baseball boring, and the only sport I enjoy watching is figure skating, not my husband’s favorite, by a long shot.

My honey recently affirmed what I’ve often speculated. If I continue to do what I’ve been doing, as often as I’ve been doing it; he wouldn’t care if I did nothing else but give him head. I could probably quit my job (not that I want to), stop doing household chores completely (which I nearly have accomplished), and spend my days doing yoga, meditating, working out, watching my favorites TV programs, and enjoying the adventures my friend Debra orchestrates.

For the record, I am not a sex object, nor am I solely out to please my man. I am an equal-rights, equal-orgasm, Liberal Democrat with all the trimmings… a Woman who’s still learning how to balance her happiness in the home and out.

Problems arise in relationships when values clash. If you’re an enthusiastic and gifted cook but your husband has a limited palate, you might be in trouble. If your husband is into attending frequent sports events as the seasons change, and you’d rather give him a candy coated blow job, you might have a problem. You see where I’m going here?

The moral of this story is, if you like to cook, find a partner who likes to eat. If you like to watch or participate in sports, find a partner who enjoys the same. And if you have a partner who likes oral sex, you can perfect your skills with experimentation and creativity.

No comments:

Post a Comment