Saturday, July 24, 2010

When Life Hands You Limes, Make Margaritas

My husband’s childhood friend Joe has an annual Memorial Day party. This year while chatting with ComputerKarmaSteve (originally a friend of a friend of somebody’s) I was asked a rather unsettling (but logical) question. “How many people read your blog?”

I hung my head in shame and explained that my Google Ad Sense account (statistics tracker) was disabled for various transgressions pertaining to sexual content, links and language. How was my loving intention and sense of humor so misunderstood by Google, the search engine I’ve loved exclusively since the beginning of my Internet days? At any rate, it got me thinking. I have no idea how many (or for that matter if any) people are reading my beloved blog. As ComputerKarmaSteve’s most unnerving question rewinds and replays in my head, I think, “If nobody’s reading, then why continue?”

Perhaps my time would be better spent learning the Hanuman Chalisa or finally working the exercise dvd I got last Christmas: Bollywood Booty with 4 booty-burning dance workouts. My booty could sure use some burning. Maybe the story of my awakening into Goddessness and its resulting ticket to marital bliss has run its course; or am I simply in a state of data deprivation depression?

I’ll have to review and rethink my aspirations. It might be time to give up blogging and find another endeavor. I could complete the thought process I began in the blogosphere and have it printed in some form. It would make a great 25th wedding anniversary gift for my sweetheart (2011)… a gift to remind us of the glory days we spent in Goddessland.

If this isn’t a great way to process my data deprivation challenge such that I’m at peace whether I continue my blog or not, I don’t know what is. The only thing that can improve my mood is a fresh pitcher of very limey Margaritas. I feel a cocktail hour coming on? Cheers!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Too Hot To Make Love? Nahhhhhh!

Summer heat is often an impediment to lovemaking. After all, who wants someone else’s clammy flesh anywhere near them on a brutally hot day? Even after cooling off in a refreshing shower or an air conditioned room; you might still be uninspired to get too close to your loved one. Heat provoked memories often cling to newly cooled pores.
Luigi’s Real Italian Ice (LRII) is a yummy way to keep cool and enjoy a no fat, low calorie snack that can double for the perfect sex toy on a brutally hot summer day or night. LRII comes in a variety of mouth watering fruity flavors: Lemon, Strawberry, Cherry, Mango (my favorite), Pina Colada, Watermelon, Blue Raspberry, No Sugar Added, and Swirl. You can sign up for money saving coupons and find fun facts in addition to product info at Luigi’

There are many ways to enjoy LRII:
* Eaten alone or with a partner, LRII is a great summer snack that can be enjoyed all year round.
* Eaten on a partner, LRII is cool fun, though it can be a little sticky if you aren’t careful.
* Fill your mouth with your favorite LRII flavor; add your lover’s body part (Note: some parts are easier to include in this endeavor than others).
* Drop spoonfuls of LRII on your partner; take and make pleasure as desired (Note: creativity is the key to success. Slurp only if this audio is an enhancement).
You get the idea.

Have fun, stay cool, and definitely try this for sizzling, summer fun.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy July 4th - Independence Day Sex?

Please say a loving prayer for our servicemen and women who are far away from home and in harm's way.
May they be safe
May they healthy
May hey be happy
May they live with ease

Adult Classics (and Neo Classics) – Part Two

For those of you who are just here for the sex, this one’s for you. For those of you who are here for everything, including the sex, this one’s for you.

If you still haven’t dared to dip into classic adult films or mainstream erotica, you might consider the following titles if you’re so inclined:

Caligula (Bob Guccione 1979) is the first major motion picture that dared to show explicit sex scenes. This historically accurate (unrated) film is about the rise and fall of Roman Emperor Gaius Caesar Germanicus. The cast includes recognizable Hollywood stars Malcolm McDowell (as Caligula), Helen Mirren, John Gielgud, and Peter O’Toole. Pornophobes who need one more celebrity name dropped to convince them this is a mainstream endeavor may be pleased to note that Gore Vidal wrote the screenplay. It’s also available on Netflix.

Night Dreams (Francis Delia 1981) starring the beautiful Dorothy LeMay is an artistically erotic and sometimes strange film about a woman who is the subject of an experiment designed to induce X-rated dreams… and oh boy; it delivers… scene after sexy scene.

The Masseuse (Paul Thomas 2004) is one of Jenna Jameson’s most celebrated films in which she plays a massage therapist who provides sextras for cash. She gets involved with a crazy stalker guy brilliantly acted by Jameson’s former husband Justin Sterling. Watched with or without the sound on, it’s a sexy suspense drama.

On a lighter note, there’s:

Debbie Does Dallas (Jim Clark 1978) is a well known title about a group of high school cheerleaders who supports one of their own (Debbie) on her quest to become a “Texas Cowgirl.” Bambi Woods, in the role of Debbie, looks like the wholesome girl-next-door (a natural beauty of male gonad stimulating quality). This film’s for you if you enjoy watching nubile maidens with small breasts, curvy hips, and pubic hair in the throws of graphically close-up actions shots.

Angel Buns (Jim Clark 1981) is a sexy comedy about an angel (naturally) played by the beautiful Veronica Hart and a shmucky shoe salesman played by porn veteran R. Bolla. Hart and Bolla are actors who perform with professional panache and dignity in and out of mainstream entertainment.

Space Nuts (Jonathan Morgan 2003) is a funny neo-classic skin flick starring Stormy Daniels (whoever she is) and Evan Stone (currently popular and recognizable). This is a spoofy mélange of Star Wars (George Lucas 1977) and Space Balls by (Mel Brooks 1987). The men are attractive, well built, body hair bald with muscles to die for. The women have beautiful bodies (though sometimes overly augmented), seductive make-up, French manicured fingernails, and great shoes.

I welcome your comments and hope that my settings have been properly adjusted to receive them.