Sunday, December 27, 2009

And The Winner Is...

With only five weeks left to complete the Dr. Oz 90 Day Sex Challenge, I’m beginning to wonder if (as in most other TV challenges) there’s going to be a winner. The pressure is on to have more and better sex than any other participating couple in The Land Of Dr. Mehmet Oz. It’s not that I’m normally competitive; it’s simply that I aspire to be the best possible role model for Everyday Goddesses who are joining me in a bit of carnal competition.

What might a suitable prize be for the winner of such a challenge?

A romantic dinner at one of the 10 Best Romantic Restaurants in New York City? (

A candle-lit-side-by-side massage with or a couple’s duet package at The Oasis Day Spa?(

A romantic NYC boat cruise? (

And if the winner is from out of the tri-state area... a week-end in NYC (of course).

Even if there’s no official winner or prize, I’m already a winner. I’ve won big time and so can you.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Fun In The Land Of Oz

I took a morning off from work this week to attend the final taping of this season’s The Dr. Oz Show. I went with my BFF Debra (aka Good Time Debbie because she’s so fun to be with). The theme of the show (to be aired in January) was Anti-Aging, a topic of growing interest to me since (like it or not) I’m aging on a daily basis. I was selected to ask Dr. Oz a question which I did with surprising ease. Besides being one of the sexiest men alive, he's just a regular guy. You’ll have to tune into the show (check your local listings at to see me standing side by side with Dr. Oz: he looking totally hot in his dark blue hospital scrubs and me in my bubble gum pink top, skinny brown cords, and Frye boots looking like the prototype for Anti-Aging Barbie. Besides the audience segment in which I appear, unless I end up on the cutting room floor, there was a segment with Dr. Mike Roizen (another brilliantly credentialed superstar) whose raison d'etre is promoting good health, and much, much more.
Anyone who has the opportunity to see the The Dr. Oz Show which is taped in NYC at 30 Rock should. It’s great fun and life should be filled with great fun.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Routine Sex Is Better Than No Sex

America has sadly become the land of sexless marriages. Couples, however, that are intimately engaged often find themselves having routine sex that consists of a few minutes of insufficient foreplay followed by a set of predictable, repeatable, and unimaginative actions. When creatively challenged lovers are lucky, their sexual routine is at least physically satisfying for both partners.

Take heed Goddesses, even the most boring sexual ruts can be tweaked. Consider my current situation, for example. My honey and I have been using background music to inspire carnal creativity. We began our musically induced sensual and meditative lovemaking some time ago exclusively using a selection of songs and mantras by my favorite female artist Deva Premal. Oh my God, it was so good we continued the practice over and over and over again. In the interest of keeping things fresh, our musical routine has been tweaked by varying the music… and Oh my God what a difference one little tweak can made. Feel free to use my music or select your own.

Deva Premal:

Love Is Space (

Mantras For Precarious Times (

Krishna Das:

Pilgrim Heart (

Heart Full Of Soul (

Flow Of Grace (

Carlos Nakai:

R. Carlos Nakai: Native American Flute Music (

Ravi Shankar:

The Best Of Ravi Shankar (

My husband and I are planning to experiment with Gregorian Chants as soon as he remembers to move the cd from his car to our home.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Dr. Oz National Sex Experiment: Part Two

Part Two of Dr. Mehmet Oz' National Sex Experiment provides some good ideas worth checking out (
  • Show The 3 A's (Appreciation, Attention, Affection (directed at men) and Appearance (directed at women)
  • Master Your Foreplay (Tips provided by Dr. Laura Berman)
  • Create A Fantasy Box (Experiment with one fantasy every other week)
If you haven't yet joined me in taking the Dr. Oz 90 Day Sex Challenge, it's not too late. If I can do it, you can too.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Clean Fun

If you’ve never taken a shower with a lover, you’re missing out on some really good, clean fun. If you haven’t taken a shower with your lover in a while, let me take this opportunity to remind you of the really good, clean fun you’re missing. If you already shower with your lover on a regular basis, you know how much fun and intimacy there is in habitual shower sharing.

Taking a shower with a lover (even a husband) can be so so so fun. Create your own sensuous and sanitary practice or choose from the following ideas:

  • Lathering one another’s body with a foamy and/or fragrant soap is erotic
  • Washing and conditioning your partner's hair is sensual
  • Laughing while you decide on a mutually agreeable water temperature and pressure is funny
  • Laughing when one of you drops the soap is hilarious
  • Kissing while the water is pouring down on the two of you is HOT
  • Having other sexual fun while the water is pouring down on the two of you is very HOT
  • Shaving one another (anywhere on the body that seems like a good idea in the moment) probably is. The resulting baldness serves as a happy reminder
  • Drying one another off is pleasurable and practical
  • Powdering one another prolongs the experience
  • Applying body lotion to your lover sets a nice tone for afterwards

If you’ve both shaved off your pubic hair, be prepared to be bald and bold if you see a doctor that requires you to be bottomless. Mature doctors will not laugh out loud.

Sensual baths provide additional opportunities for intimacy and hygienic fun. Light candles, drink cocktails, or engage in sexy conversation. Keep in mind, that a modest bathtub can be just as much fun as elaborate spa-like surroundings.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


The results of my recent blog poll were surprising. A whopping 53% of respondents have never used any of the standard confections said to enhance oral sex, 23% have used the most commonly used erotic embellishment Cool Whip, while 15% voted Ewwww!

  • Oral Sex? Ewwww: 15%
  • Fruit Roll-Up: 0%
  • Riesen: 0%
  • MilkyWay: 0%
  • Hershey’s Kiss: 0%
  • Nutella: 0%
  • Nips Parfait: 0%
  • Jolly Rancher: 0%
  • Gummy Worm: 0%
  • Cool Whip: 23%
  • Ice Cream: 0%
  • None Of The Above: 53%
  • All Of The Above: 7%

Now would be the perfect time for those of you who are taking the Dr. Oz 90 Day Sex Challenge with me (See to experiment with oral sex and yummy sweets.

The easiest candy with which to begin your orally erotic education is the Hershey’s Kiss (See Using an edible item that you already enjoy will retrain your mindset to take pleasure in oral sex by substituting the blandness of unadorned genital skin with a yumminess you could learn to love.

If you’re a woman who’d like to have her man eating out of her hand, learn how to give him a superlative blow job. If you’re a man who’d like to have his woman feasting on his loins, buy her a bag of her favorite candy and point her in the direction of this blog.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Giving Thanks

Thanks to Thanksgiving weekend our two terrific children came home from school for the holiday. Our daughter came home on Tuesday (for five days and five nights) and our son came home Wednesday (for four days and four nights) … but… who’s counting? Don’t get me wrong, it was wonderful to see and spend time with “the girl” and “the boy” as my husband and I often call them.

At any given time, at least one of our progeny was home, either sprawled out on the living room couch or making a mess somewhere where there wasn't one before. Our marital privacy was nearly reduced to what it was during the glory days of child-rearing (or so it seemed). Suffice it to say, I don't feel connubially comfortable with my husband when our children are in the house.

By Saturday night, after days and days of the holiday homecoming, I’d either stooped to new a low or I’d risen to a new high in order to spend some alone time with my husband. I gave my son fifty dollars as a bribe to take his sister shopping; I gave my daughter a credit card, and off they went. Happy to be alone at last, my honey and I high tailed it up to our hottie hideaway to be lovers, not parents.

Today is Monday and I am thankful that my children are back in school where they should be.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

90 Day Sex Challenge: Next Steps

I wonder how many of you are taking on the Dr. Oz 90 Day Sex Challenge with me.

Are you talking to and with you partner for the required 10 minutes a day? Are you discussing topics that are personal and mutually enjoyable and avoiding stressful subjects about finances and parenting woes?

Are you kissing and cuddling for 10 minutes, three times a week? Ten minutes of k and c should be doable even for individuals who’ve become accustomed to extremely limited affection.

Certainly, those of you who've accepted the challenge are having sex once a week as advised by Dr. Oz who explains, “It doesn’t have to be the best sex of your life, the most experimental or something from the Kama Sutra. But it DOES have to happen. You are carving out time for each other and making sex a weekly priority.”

Dr. Oz promises there’ll be more “Next Step” information on his website ( in December. What are Goddesses to do in the meantime, however, if their sensual creativity has yet to stir and they need “Next Step” information from the get go?

Ideas on how to improve your sex lives are plentiful in books, all over the Internet, and right here on this blog. I pledge my commitment to contribute to the pool of carnal concepts for concept-less couples to use at their discretion.

Even the smallest change to background sounds, lighting, and smells can make a difference in how the “Just Do It” directive plays out.

  1. Experiment with different types of background music to create various moods.
  2. Utilize one or more Oggz to sensually light the room.
  3. Burn a candle or incense.

Whatever you do, do it in the spirit of fun; this will make all the difference.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sex: Abundance or Famine?

The airwaves and Internet are rife with personal accounts and scientific information on relationships and sexuality. One can expect to find daily talk show hosts and their guests discussing hot topics such as how to nourish intimacy, how to restore romance, and how to have better sex. The Internet picks up where daytime TV leaves off with photos, blogs, and step by step instructions on how to do anything you might have ever considered in bed and elsewhere. The following is a small sample:

Dr. Laura Berman is a media friendly therapist who appears regularly on the Oprah Show. Pretty, perky, and an endearing visual and vocal Goldie Hawn double, Dr. Berman’s forte is sex and relationships. She’s also featured on Oprah’s website under the heading of Better in Bed where she provides expert advice, homework, informative videos, and more.

Rabbi Shmuley Botech (, author of The Kosher Sutra 8 Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life, was a recent guest on The Bonnie Hunt Show. Of the many interesting things he mentioned, the following were particularly noteworthy:

  1. One out of three women are taking anti-depressants
  2. A third of marriages are entirely platonic, entirely sexless
  3. Women need intimacy, men need novelty
  4. Monogamy need not be monotony

Dr. Mehmet Oz, new to the daily talk show circuit, recently began a show introducing his National Sex Experiment as follows:

“We are a nation in crisis, in the midst of a sexual famine, and it stops now. For the next 90 days, in the nation’s bedrooms, Americans pledge to save their lives by saving their sex lives. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. We need volunteers…”

I urge all readers to volunteer with me and take the 90 Day Sex Challenge ( The initial requirements for you and your loved one are relatively easy:

  1. Talk to each other for 10 minutes a day
  2. Kiss and cuddle for 10 minutes three times a week
  3. Have sex a minimum of once a week

Even though I’m already onboard with daily talking, kissing, cuddling, and the minimum weekly requirement stated above, I too can improve my relationship and sex life. There is no end to improving intimacy, novelty, and fun. I say, "the more, the better."

Start today. I’d love to follow your progress. Please email me at

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Hershey’s Kisses And Oral Sex – A Match Made In Heaven

I’m never surprised when a woman tells me she isn’t as fond of oral sex as her lover. That’s the polite way of saying she finds giving head gross, tedious, or frustrating. If you’re such a woman who wants to reverse her distaste for fellatio, today’s your lucky day. If you’re a man whose partner thinks giving a blow job is an unsavory task, this blog entry might change your life. Learning how to perform and enjoy the oral arts is easy when Hershey’s Kisses are employed as an educational tool. They’re small, easy to use, and mouth-wateringly delicious. Learning to give head with Hershey’s Kisses is like learning to ride a bike with training wheels; you acquire a few skills, feel secure, begin to enjoy it, and off you go.

Former foes of fellatio often experience a dramatic change in outlook when their loved one’s penis is candy coated. The following recipe for Suckcess will likely render oral sex tolerable and satisfactory (at least) or thoroughly appetizing and addictive (at most). There are, however, a few sensible guidelines to follow:
  1. The recipient is urged to observe pristine personal hygiene, take only as much time as the giver is comfortable with, and be prepared to be the giver if so asked.
  2. The giver should always be careful when playing with food and avoid all choking hazards, be mindful of teeth (wrongful biting is painful), and proceed for as long as it’s enjoyable (or for as long as the chocolatey flavor lasts). If you’re a weight watcher pay attention to portion size.
The following recipe is merely a tantalizing template. Feel free to improvise.
  • Unwrap the Kiss - Feel sexy, act sexy.
  • Waft the Hershey’s fragrance toward your partner’s nose.
  • Toss the foil wrapper - Give your partner a sensual look, lick you lips.
  • Introduce the Kiss to the Penis - Gentle touches, strokes, and pokes feel good. The chocolate will begin to melt; the head of the penis functions like nature’s fondue pot.
  • Position the Kiss tip up/base down or Tip down/base up at the tip of the penis.
  • Hold the Kiss in place with frontal mouth control. You’ll need to have good lingual and labial control with just the right amount of suction – Lick, nibble, suck, feast… enjoy.
If you’re a weight watcher and you only eat candy in limited quantities and only during oral sex, I guarantee you’ll become a fan. If you’re not a weight watcher, but love Hershey’s Kisses; you’ll be just as happy. If you don’t like chocolate, try something else. Anything you love eating will do just fine if you make the appropriate accommodations. I imagine you could even wrap a slice of pizza around a penis if you were so inclined. Try anything. If it’s a disaster, just laugh.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Goddessentials: How I Lost Twenty Pounds

I’ve finally reached my Weight Watcher’s goal weight by losing twenty (count ‘em twenty) pounds. My WW friends (all happy about my success) applauded me and Michelle (the leader) was as proud as a running coach whose athlete just completed the New York City Marathon in record time.

So how did I do it? I devised and followed The Goddess Weight-Loss Libido-Revitalization Self-Improvement Plan... the elements of which are described below.

The Goddess plan begins with the tried and true Weight Watcher’s program of weekly meetings (when life permits) and following their “Good Health Guidelines” consisting of healthy food choices (fruits, vegetables, whole-grains, milk, and lean protein). There are no longer forbidden foods on WW; it’s all about choices. My candy quota (generally limited to one or two points a day) is exclusively positioned and eaten off a zero point, zero calorie body part that belongs to my naturally sweet husband. Exercise is strongly encouraged; and as Michelle often says, “Eat less, move more.” My daily exercise routine consists of any combination of running, walking, stationary bike, light weight training, and yoga.

I spend as much time as possible enjoying things I love such as: working (I love my job), chanting, sharing experiences (especially metaphysical) with like minded friends, meditation, watching my favorite TV shows, reading, blogging, and last but certainly not least being with my hubby and children.

Intimate time with my husband in our attic hideaway is probably the activity I love best. It’s when and where I feel safe, secure, loved, and sexy. It has become our private time and place to enjoy the sensuality that has transformed our relationship from ho hum to oh my god, this is fucking awesome. Sex is an essential part of the human experience and can be enjoyed as part of an intimate relationship or alone with your favorite fantasy and/or sex toy.

The Goddess Weight-Loss Libido-Revitalization Self-Improvement Plan is a heart healthy, attitudinally positive, spiritually uplifting, sexually delightful way to improve your waistline, your mind-set, your marriage, and everything else that matters in your world and beyond. Try it and see for yourself. You and everyone around you will be glad you did.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Prelude To An Empty Nest

My husband and I began discussing the impending prelude to our empty nest in July. Our beautiful daughter, then home for summer vacation, was to be a college senior at the end of August. Our strapping son was looking forward, nearly as much as we were, to his freshman year at a university two hours away from home. Life was good. We knew this empty nest was only a temporary respite since children such as ours generally return home for spontaneous visits, scheduled vacations, and an eventual post graduation homecoming. My honey and I have had enough mental health training to maintain a genuinely positive approach to our children’s separation & individuation; and we truly look forward to the day they both have wonderful jobs, relationships, and apartments in New York City.

Our empty nest got off to a bad start following my beloved’s unexpected health crisis. Just as we were beginning to cope with the physical and emotional side effects of the situation and appreciate our joint solitude, our much loved children began returning home for unscheduled week-end visits (so far two for each offspring, but who's counting). Last Friday, while I was out to dinner with friends in the Soho/Village area, I received a text message from my boy saying he’d come home and taken my car. He subseqently saw friends, slept, and spent some quality time with us (his adoring parents) on Sunday before going back to school.

This week-end, it was our daughter who returned home. We celebrated her belated birthday with a lovely dinner out, addressed some issues (which she’d kill me if I revealed), shopped for her groceries while she took a nap, and returned her to school before week-end traffic got out of hand.

It appears that once our children are back at school and we are home alone, my sweetie and I high-tail it up to our attic love nest with the swiftness and desire of high school lovers whose parents just left for an evening out. It’s during these times that we have the most fun, laugh the hardiest, and make the sweetest love.

For those of you with young children, who believe those scary stories about the empty nest syndrome, be assured that there are happier alternatives… especially if you’re a goddess and her man.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

No Quality Time To Write: A Crappy Excuse

Excuses for my lapse in communication/blog posts:
  • No time
  • Inertia
  • Procrastination
  • Angst
  • Work
  • One last (not so great) beach day of the season with yoga friends
  • Unexpected visit from daughter
More material coming very soon.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Kissing 301: Making Out

Making out is a superlative kissing technique. A make 0ut session generally includes prolonged, intimate, mouth-to-mouth contact administered passionately. The touching of supplementary body parts (reciprocated or not) is normally part of these oral festivities. Skilled maker outers understand the importance of including erogenous zones (EZs) in the make out mix because they understand that EZs are filled with nerve endings that heighten arousal. When a make out session commences foreplay with intent to consummate a sexual act, extensive contact with at least one partner’s erogenous zones are more likely get participants from Point A (arousal) to Point B (bliss).

The potency of erogenous zones is variable. While some individuals are turned on when their EZs are kissed, nibbled, licked, touched, and/or caressed; others are completely turned off. Trial and error are necessary to determine what works and what doesn’t. Common female EZs (beyond the genitalia) include ears, neck, nipples, breasts, and inner thighs. See for ideas.

Common male EZs (all secondary to the almighty penis) include scalp, lips, small of the back, and perineum. Though men are generally penis driven, they do respond to and enjoy the stimulation of other less celebrated EZs. See for pointers (pun intended).

The overall vitality of an intimate relationship (e.g. marriage) can be assessed by the amount, nature, and duration of kissing that occurs on a regular basis. Couples whose kissing repertoire consists of brief pecks on the cheek or mouth may be in trouble. There are, however, couples with an active sex life who avoid kissing for reasons only they are privy to. Perhaps one partner has bad breath or gingivitis. Whatever the reason, the particulars of making out (or not) is based on personal preferences that should always be respected in a relationship.

My daily, weekly, and monthly kissing encounters have increased dramatically since my goddess days began to unfold. There’s always daily pecking, even under the worst conditions (infrequent marital discord and hospitalization included). Five to Ten second kissing by and large gives rise (no pun intended) to making out which is either enjoyed as an act in itself or as the beginning of other carnal creations. I leave you with the following words of wisdom:

Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases. ~ Chinese Proverb

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sweet Or Silly?

It was my darling daughter’s twenty-second birthday yesterday. She’s away at school so I didn’t get to see her, hug her, or kiss her. My only communication with her was a phone call during which I sang a wistful Happy Birthday.

Today I’m home alone, enjoying my solitude, without feeling obliged to do any housework whatsoever. Instead of playing my standard musical favorites while dancing around the living room, I listened to the cheerful music of Raffi Cavoukian, the Canadian singer-songwriter once referred to as the most popular children’s entertainer in the western world” (Washington Post). It was when my sweet girl was just a baby that we discovered the joy of Raffi.

Anyone with young children in their lives who doesn’t already know about Raffi should take note of his website and purchase a cd or two or three or more right away.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Kissing 201: Bad News And Good News

The bad news is that you can catch contagious diseases from kissing. Colds, Influenza (including the Swine Flu), Herpes Simplex, Mononucleosis, and Meningitis are among the illnesses that are commonly spread when infected droplets are passed from a contaminated person to a healthy one. Saliva and mucus from the nose and throat are the culprits.

Obviously, you shouldn’t kiss anyone (not even someone you love) who is visibly sick unless you’re comfortable playing Russian Roulette with your health. Always, be on the look out for runny noses, coughs, and cold sores which are among the easiest symptoms to notice. Don’t kiss anyone who has a fever unless you’re prepared to catch whatever it is they have. You can evaluate your partner’s body temperature before kissing them by brushing your lips across their forehead; if it feels warm (or hot) don’t go any further. You can make this look like a sexy overture and not a temp check. A little sexy moan or a tiny lick here and there while you’re lipping their forehead is sure to be convincing. If you’re really bold or simply not sure about the forehead result, suggest playing Doctor and use a thermometer. If you’re lucky, your lover will think you’re heaps of fun rather than a total nutcase.

The good news is that kissing can prevent cavities. Kissing stimulates saliva flow which then cleanses away decay producing food particles. Even better news than cavity prevention is that French kissing (aka tongue dancing) on a regular basis improves romantic relationships (marriage included). Testosterone is received when a woman French kisses her man (see Kissing 101) which revs up her sex drive. Moreover, kissing activates the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that benefits both the kisser and the kissee. Dopamine is the quadruple E-rated chemical that produces Energy, Exhilaration, Euphoria, and Ecstasy.

Do the risks of kissing outweigh the benefits? Sometimes, I’m just not sure and other times, I just don’t care.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Women Who Run With the Wolves

Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD is a certified Jungian psychoanalyst, cantadora (keeper of old stories), poet, and author of The New York Times Best Seller Women Who Run With the Wolves (Ballantine Books, 1992). The subtitle, Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype, illuminates the concept of the book. (The term archetype is used therein to define the instinctive blueprint of thought and/or symbolic imagery that comes from the collective experience of the past contained in the individual unconscious of all women in the now).

Multi-cultural myths and folk tales such as La Loba (The Wolf Woman), Vasalisa, The Handless Maiden, and The Crescent Moon Bear are vehicles with which the author engages the female reader so they may reconnect with the wild feminine (their instinctual self) and be empowered by her. Of course the book isn’t solely for women; enlightened men would likely appreciate it as well. The stories are about relinquishing inborn creativity, wisdom, strength (among other innate gifts), and reclaiming them as a birthright. They are about descent and transformation. They are about loss of instinct and resurgence of spirit. They are about the resilience and endurance of the soul.

Stories about the instinctual archetype of the wolf augment those describing the wild nature of women. The value of the wolf metaphor as it relates to the feminine instinctual psyche is made clear on page two of the book where Dr. Estés writes, “healthy wolves and healthy women share certain psychic characteristics: keen sensing, playful spirit, and a heightened capacity for devotion. Wolves and women are relational by nature, inquiring, possessed of great endurance and strength. They are deeply intuitive, intensely concerned with their young, their mates and their pack. They are experienced in adapting to constantly changing circumstances; they are fiercely stalwart and very brave.”

As this fabulous book comes to an end, the author states, “Over my lifetime as I’ve met wolves, I have tried to puzzle out how they live, for the most part, in such harmony. So, for peaceable purposes, I would suggest you begin right now with any point on the (following) list. For those who are struggling, it may help greatly to begin with number ten.”

General Wolf Rules For Life

  1. Eat
  2. Rest
  3. Rove in between
  4. Render loyalty
  5. Love the children
  6. Cavil in the moonlight
  7. Tune your ears
  8. Attend to the bones
  9. Make love
  10. Howl often