Monday, August 29, 2011

Up All Night

Up All Night, the new comedy series, starring Christina Applegate, Maya Rudolph and Will Arnett is about new parents trying to balance their home life, work life, and baby.  I know all about being up all night and trying to juggle personhood and parenthood. I fondly remember years of on demand nursing (a.k.a. breast-feeding) my two darling children, our family bed, immunizations, childhood diseases including the chicken pox they shared with me, and so on.  After the first five years of being a Mom, I completely forgot how to sleep through the night.

Being up all night has new meaning when your child is no longer that adorable infant or toddler. Chronologically adult children bring new reasons to be Up All Night.

* Up All Night is when your child is away at school during a hurricane.
* Up All Night is when your daughter has a date in a neighboring state with someone you don’t know at all.
* Up All Night is when your child is vacationing far from home with peers.
* Up All Night is when you hear the refrain within your maternal DNA that asks, “It’s ten o’clock; do you know where your children are,” and your don’t.

Although I’ve made some progress in the Not-Up-All-Night Department, I still have much to learn. My dear friend Tina has been trying to teach me that FEAR is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real. There’s simply no good reason to worry unless there’s real reason to worry. Now doesn’t that sound easy? Of course it isn’t; but I am trying… one sleepless night at a time.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Semen – A Wonder Remedy For Depression?

Researchers from SUNY Albany published an article in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2002) supporting a previous hypothesis that the hormones in semen have a mood-boosting effect on women. In February of this year a controversial editorial appeared in the Surgery News which stated, “Forget chocolate on Valentine’s Day, try semen.”

Semen, according to respectable scientists, contains substantial doses of natural feel-good chemicals including endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, and melatonin. These erotic essences are absorbed through the abundantly vascular vaginal wall during intercourse as long as there’s no impediment (e.g. condom or coitus interruptus).  This is good news for women in monogamous relationships when fears of pregnancy or disease are non issues.

Given the choice between a semen cocktail taken straight up a box of truffles, I’d unequivocally choose the chocolates every time.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Keeping Up With The Kardashians – Season Six

Yes, of course, I’m still keeping up with the Kardashians.  In fact, I love, respect, and enjoy them now more than ever.  While other reality TV shows promise “backstabbing betrayal,” Keeping Up With The Kardashians delivers a jigunda slice of Kardashian life that’s chock-full of familial love, loyalty, glam, glitz, and bling.

My happy life as an everyday goddess is the Kardashian’s polar opposite in the outer world. The K-Dolls (Kris, Kourtney, Kim, Khlo√©, Kendall, and Kylie) are all gorgeously stylish and fashionably put together, external qualities I admire but lack. I haven’t a fashionista gene among my otherwise delightful bits of DNA. This, however, in no way diminishes my appreciation of Kardashian razzle-dazzle chic.

The Kardashians, Jenners, Odums, et al are exquisite to watch in their assorted domestic habitats, and in their varied roles as normal people with celebrity professions. They’re seemingly fearless about divulging delicate details; next-to-nothing is off limits. Take this season for example.  Matriarch Kris Jenner broadcasts her pre-Kim’s-wedding plastic surgery. Who else in Hollywood would do this besides a Kardashian?  What else is NOT off limits besides a mini face-lift?  How about menopause, incontinence, maternal angst and pride? Oh yeah; and that’s just Kris who’s stunning throughout. 

I Love, Love, Love the Kardashians; and I’ll be keeping up with them for as long as there’s something chichi to keep up with.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Is The Song In Your Head A Musical Hallucination?

Have you ever had a song in your head that kept you singing (or thinking) the lyrics (or melody) repeatedly? If you answered yes, you’re not alone.  It could be harmless, OR it could be the result of malfunctioning brain networks that normally allow us to perceive music. The brain is amazing when it functions perfectly and is even more so when it doesn’t.

Fourteen years ago, 83-year-old Reginald King began having musical hallucinations following bypass surgery.  The array of pop tunes and Christmas carols playing on his personal cerebral channel were both frightening and frustrating and could neither be turned off nor tuned down. Eventually, he was seen by Dr. Victor Aziz, one of two European researchers who had been studying this phenomenon. Dr. Aziz and research partner Dr. Nick Warner found that more than a third of their patients with musical hallucinations were deaf or hard of hearing, women more often than men, and on average 78 years of age.

Dr. Aziz believes people are more likely to hear songs (in their head) they’ve heard repeatedly. He further speculates that musical hallucinations would become more common in the future noting that, ‘”people today are awash in music from radios and television.”  Add to that the unwavering use of iPods by people of all ages and there you have the makings of a musical hallucination zoo (

So what does this mean for me (and you)?  I frequently listen to my favorite music on the radio or cd player (driving here and there), my computer (at work and home), and my beloved iPod (my commuting companion). I wonder if my ritual music habits will eventually lead me to Nirvana or to some other musical paradise…perhaps Gagavana?   There are two songs currently playing on my daily hit parade.  Click on the blue links below to see what they are.

What might make it to your hallucinatory playlist if your musical brain networks begin to malfunction?  Please comment below; I’d really LOVE to know.