Saturday, November 7, 2009

Hershey’s Kisses And Oral Sex – A Match Made In Heaven

I’m never surprised when a woman tells me she isn’t as fond of oral sex as her lover. That’s the polite way of saying she finds giving head gross, tedious, or frustrating. If you’re such a woman who wants to reverse her distaste for fellatio, today’s your lucky day. If you’re a man whose partner thinks giving a blow job is an unsavory task, this blog entry might change your life. Learning how to perform and enjoy the oral arts is easy when Hershey’s Kisses are employed as an educational tool. They’re small, easy to use, and mouth-wateringly delicious. Learning to give head with Hershey’s Kisses is like learning to ride a bike with training wheels; you acquire a few skills, feel secure, begin to enjoy it, and off you go.

Former foes of fellatio often experience a dramatic change in outlook when their loved one’s penis is candy coated. The following recipe for Suckcess will likely render oral sex tolerable and satisfactory (at least) or thoroughly appetizing and addictive (at most). There are, however, a few sensible guidelines to follow:
  1. The recipient is urged to observe pristine personal hygiene, take only as much time as the giver is comfortable with, and be prepared to be the giver if so asked.
  2. The giver should always be careful when playing with food and avoid all choking hazards, be mindful of teeth (wrongful biting is painful), and proceed for as long as it’s enjoyable (or for as long as the chocolatey flavor lasts). If you’re a weight watcher pay attention to portion size.
The following recipe is merely a tantalizing template. Feel free to improvise.
  • Unwrap the Kiss - Feel sexy, act sexy.
  • Waft the Hershey’s fragrance toward your partner’s nose.
  • Toss the foil wrapper - Give your partner a sensual look, lick you lips.
  • Introduce the Kiss to the Penis - Gentle touches, strokes, and pokes feel good. The chocolate will begin to melt; the head of the penis functions like nature’s fondue pot.
  • Position the Kiss tip up/base down or Tip down/base up at the tip of the penis.
  • Hold the Kiss in place with frontal mouth control. You’ll need to have good lingual and labial control with just the right amount of suction – Lick, nibble, suck, feast… enjoy.
If you’re a weight watcher and you only eat candy in limited quantities and only during oral sex, I guarantee you’ll become a fan. If you’re not a weight watcher, but love Hershey’s Kisses; you’ll be just as happy. If you don’t like chocolate, try something else. Anything you love eating will do just fine if you make the appropriate accommodations. I imagine you could even wrap a slice of pizza around a penis if you were so inclined. Try anything. If it’s a disaster, just laugh.

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