First Step

I admit that I am powerless over my addiction to candy and that my life has become unmanageable.

Like most other addicts, for reasons I don’t fully understand, I have lost my power of choice to sweets.  My willpower is non-existent and I have become defenseless against that first fun-size MilkyWay or Hershey’s Kiss. In the moment, I fail to remember that consuming too much candy, especially chocolate, sooner or later makes me feel terrible and gives me gas.

The realization of my addiction came a few days ago as I began to initiate another round of fabulous chocoholic fellatio in the love loft. What’s even worse, than realizing I have reached rock bottom in the candy sector of my love life, is that my beloved husband has become my enabler. Even after telling him that I must stop using our candy rations, he brought home a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  He apparently cares less about my addiction and well-being than he does about his own pleasure.

I’ve assured my sweetie that there are other treats in store for him if he supports my candy abstinence.  I suggested that if he helps me reach my goal weight (118 pounds), I will reward him with my oral delights using a full-size MilkyWay bar.  I know this is an appalling plan.  It’s like a recovering alcoholic rewarding herself with an orgy of Lemon Drop Martinis!