Cocksucker's Neck

Neck pain, a common complaint, is often attributed to wear-and-tear arthritis, poor posture, and repetitive strain injuries.  It’s understandable that a person, in the throws of head, neck, and shoulder discomfort will (at some point) retrace their footsteps to determine the source of their pain and take whatever steps they can to alleviate it.  Needless to say, early thoughts about my aching neck, led me to the conclusion that I’d developed a painful case of Cocksucker’s Neck.

Cocksucker’s Neck is an inflammation, soreness, and/or pain on the lateral side of the neck resulting from repetitive fellatio performed at the same angle or position.  

What can you do if you think you might be developing (or already have) Cocksucker’s Neck?

• Don’t stop giving your partner head if it’s something you both enjoy. Simply change it up and try a different angle or position.
• Experiment with moist heat therapy.
• Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications (such as ibuprofen, naproxen or acetaminophen) often help.
• Alternative treatments such a Reiki are wonderful; it’s my good fortune to have a BFF who’s a Medicine Woman and Reiki Master (thanks Debra).
• See a health care provider; it’s my good fortune to have a wonderful chiropractor (thanks Dr. Harry I feel better already).

Even if you don’t really have Cocksucker’s Neck, you probably should attend to your aching neck ASAP in order to avoid serious complications or further damage. Maintain strength and flexibility in your neck (and everywhere else) avoid repetitive motions, and remember, if it hurts, do something else.