Location, Location, Location

The pop phrase “Location, Location, Location” is commonly associated with real estate. It connotes the three key factors in determining the desirability of a property: location, location, and location.  When it comes to female orgasm, however, the cliché "location, location, location" is possibly even more important than in real estate circles.  A dysfunctional orgasm may be due to a variety of causes including: aging female apparatus, hormonal fluctuations, shrinking clitoris, medication that inhibits sexual response, or simply a partner with poor aim.

The easiest situation to remedy is a partner with poor aim.  What’s required is “Direction, Direction, Direction.”  Some women take pity on a partner who aims to please but seems to miss the mark every time.  They give up and either fake an orgasm (the pity orgasm) or they instruct their lover to stop trying. In either case, the result is no orgasm.

There are techniques that can be used to redirect your partner to the proper location or locations that feel good during intercourse or outercourse. Never allow a lover to keep going on a site that isn’t right.  It’s like telling someone to scratch the center of your back and they scratch your head where it doesn’t itch.  Here are some helpful hints:

Direct your lover as if he (or she) were playing a video game such as Ms. Pac-Man on your clitoris. Men, especially video game lovers, do well with this method. Whisper directives such as “to the left, to the right, higher, lower, faster, slower;” and keep going until you achieve success. A well thought out arsenal of instructive phrases (e.g. “more lube please”) and products (e.g. K-Y Intense) are strongly recommended. Come prepared (pun intended).

If you think a road image might yield a better result, say something like, “You’ve veered off course, you’re on the shoulder,  get back on the road.”

Use whatever means it takes to get your partner to understand; and stay the course for as long as you can. Frustration is often best diffused with good humor and persistence.  This is a learning process. Good luck.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

 

The Kardashians are most definitely the elite of reality TV. They’ve been on the air since 2007 and have set a high standard for televised openness and integrity;  add to that Hollywood glitz and glamour and you’ve got a hit series.  Yes, I love the Kardashians and I keep up with them. I can hardly stop myself from interacting with family matriarch, Kris Jenner, and the three eldest gals (Goddesses for sure) Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe. I yell at them, cheer them on, and am dazzled by their fashion and bling.

Tomorrow, Monday February 14^th, is Valentine’s Day.  I’m going to stop by Dash New York (119 Spring Street) on my lunch break (I work one block away), buy something dazzling, and drop off Goddess Goodie Bags for Kris, Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe. Their goodies will include a Fruit Roll-Up, Hershey’s Kisses, Pop Rocks, and a travel toothbrush.  With luck (for them) they’ll check out my blog address and read the posts listed on my sidebar which describe how to turn some of America’s favorite candies into super sex toys. I know they’d enjoy that. Who wouldn’t?

Giving Notice - Yes, No, Maybe So

I count the number (on my fingers) of readers/friends who I know-for-sure follow my crystals of wisdom on these e-pages. There’s my BFF, her uncle E and cousin M, my youngest soul sister Kora, my beloved Swami-ji, and my Twitter foodie friend Christie, “a self-taught and health-conscious cook who lives in Sydney, Australia” and has a website called Fig & Cherry.  I wonder (when there are uncounted fingers left over) whether or not it’s worth the time and energy to continue writing this blog.  

I’ve not been discovered as was Julie Powell, author of the successful blog (the Julie/Julia Project) which later became an even more successful book and film. I’ve not been contacted by a single producer of The Oprah Show, or by any of my favorite publishers. I’ve not had my 15 minutes of fame unless, of course, you count my two appearances on The Doctor Oz Show in which my blog title ended up on the editing room floor.

In truth, I may have already written everything any would-be Goddess needs to know about reinventing herself, revitalizing her marriage, and rebooting her libido (efforts well worth time and energy).   I’m living proof that an everyday woman can enter marriage (with all of the bells and whistles that new love starts out with), raise children, deal with the trials and tribulations of life, and come out the other end refreshed, renewed, and more in love than ever.

Newbie readers with a longing for romantic restoration are advised to go back and begin on page one.