Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Fruit Roll-Ups

A Fruit Roll-Up is a tasty little fruit snack that can double as a sex toy if you know the particulars. It can be applied to your partner’s penis (or other anatomical location) as follows: tear off strips of fruit roll and wrap them around the head, shaft (or wherever). When the strips are moistened in place by licking, they readily adhere to the skin. It can thus be creatively snacked off in an enjoyable manner… and it’s as much fun for the snacker as it is for the snackee.

Fruit Roll-Ups come in various flavors, colors, and designs. My personal favorite is “Crazy Pix, Wild Ones, Blastin’Berry, Camouflage.” It’s a scrumptious little treat that’s 50 calories, one point, zero grams of saturated & trans fat, and has Vitamin C. It’s a healthy, fun, and novel way to enjoy giving a blow job. It gives new meaning to the expression, “love the skin you’re in!”

The General Mills website lists 41 different flavors and/or styles of Fruit Roll-Ups, Fruit By The Foot, Fruit Gushers, and Fruit Shapes. Though not among my favorites, Gushers and Shapes require different labial and lingual techniques worthy of exploration.

Believe it or not, you can create custom Fruit Roll-Ups with photos from your computer and a personal message. Be advised here that orders with “questionable images and messages” will not be processed. As long as you keep your custom design and message “family friendly,” the Fruit Roll-Up police will never know how you are using your snack.

Betty Crocker would probably roll over in her grave…. or maybe she’d just laugh out loud.


  1. what about one of the $6 spinning tooth brushes...maybe you could use the back of
    the head.
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  2. Now you've got me wondering about the strength of that vibration... this might be great substitute for a traveling vibrator!