Sunday, September 13, 2009

Revisiting Passion

This is the true story of how my husband (of two decades plus) and I unexpectedly revisited passion. It’s an account that’s intended to demonstrate how an everyday woman (such as me) and an everyday man (such as my husband) overcame a frightful experience that threatened to destroy the very special life we created together over the past 20 months… a life we fully enjoyed.

My beloved and I were looking forward to an empty nest. Our son, now a freshman in college, left home two days before our daughter, a university senior. Raleigh, one of my favorite co-workers, had been teasing me for weeks about what he expected of a goddess-dwelling- empty nest. Surely there would be wanton nudity and wild sex a plenty. Right? Wrong!

In less than an hour into the Grand Opening of our Empty Nest, my darling and I were en route to the local hospital emergency room. His situation, we soon learned, was life-threatening. The subsequent hospital stay and the much hoped for return home were fraught with angst. Needless to say, when one partner experiences a medical crisis, both partners are traumatized. Our return home presented challenges we hadn’t anticipated. I was afraid of everything. I became the “Don’t” wife. Don’t strain yourself; Don’t lift anything heavier than our cat; Don’t do this… Don’t do that. My husband followed suit and Didn’t… whatever didn’t mean in the moment.

Although no doctor advised us against it, sex of any sort became a NO NO. In my terrified but loving eyes, my husband was too fragile for even the tamest carnal activity. When Internet research on the physiology of sex yielded no comfort, I asked the doctor everything I wanted to know about the rigors of sex and orgasm. He assured me that I asked good questions and gave us what felt like his blessing.

It was my birthday… a big one… so we decided to celebrate life and go out for lunch. We went to our local Chevy’s ( and since my sweetie couldn’t drink (he’s on a no alcohol regime), I drank alone. The delightful young waiter recommended a scrumptiously potent drink: Dos Patrones, a yummy concoction of tequila, Grand Marnier and fresh- squeezed orange juice. The atmosphere, the service, the food, and of course the company were purrrfection.

We returned home, my brain cells still bathing in alcohol, and hightailed it to the attic love nest we hadn’t seen since the hospitalization. There was talking, laughing, and an amorous intimacy born of relief and gratefulness to be together in our sacred space. The head-bobbing-around, hands-engaged-on face kissing complete with tears streaming down my cheeks, led to an afternoon of Disney-Theme Park-Matterhorn-Quality, Days-Of-Our-Lives-Soap Opera sex.

Perhaps it was only a one shot passionate interlude. But even if it was just for one afternoon, I learned that a long time married, everyday goddess and her mortal man can revisit passion.

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