It’s fairly common for a woman, as she approaches the middle years, to experience a decline in her libido. Add to this, greater difficulty in achieving a once-easy-to-attain orgasm and you have a bona fide challenge at hand. Think of the female orgasm as you would a BIC® lighter. A brand new BIC® lights easily and consistently; but over time, the lighting response gets sluggish and eventually the flame is gone forever. Though the aging female orgasm may function as a well-used BIC®, the outcome has a much better prognosis.
There are many scientific reasons for the declining female orgasm. Hormones (or lack thereof), decreased muscle tension, clitoral shrinkage, decrease in vaginal elasticity and lubrication, illness, medical procedures which have a physical or emotional impact on sexuality, medications that inhibit sexual response, stress, anxiety, fatigue, relationship issues, poor body image… the list goes on.
A plethora of self-help books, magazine articles, TV talk show episodes, and websites abundantly address the variables associated with revitalizing one’s orgasmic response. A visit with a capable health practitioner (Internist, Gynecologist, Urologist, Sex Therapist, Relationship Coach, et al) may be of help.
Even if your orgasmic flame has dwindled or gone out completely, there’s probably still hope to revitalize or completely resurrect it. Orgasm retraining is much like any exercise program. It just takes some patience, effort, and a partner (or vibrator) you trust. You might need to abandon practices that no longer work for you or find new techniques that bring victory. Orgasms may be the positive result of successful masturbation (with or without a partner), penetrative sexual intercourse or non-penetrative outercourse. As they say, different strokes for different folks. Take it from me, a lost libido and/or orgasm is not a lost cause.